My colour is my confidence

I think everyone will agree, confidence is kind of a big deal and frankly it's something that we all need to find for ourselves at some point (or various points) in our lives. For me, confidence is that feeling where you're incredibly happy within yourself, where positivity simply radiates and you're knowingly strong and reassured in yourself.

But it's more than just the good-vibe. It's that feeling deep inside you. I've been trying to think of a perfect way to describe it and I've been asking people what do you feel when you feel confident, but it's almost indescribable.

What even is confidence?
Where does it come from?
What does it feel like?

I've been asking these questions a lot because recently I've had a roller-coaster of a time with my mental health and in turn, my confidence. But over the last few weeks, thanks to my family and amazing friends, I'm regaining myself and finding myself happier again.

With happiness comes my confidence.

When I was asking a couple of people to answer these questions for me (my mum, my boyfriend, a few of my friends) I received quite a spectrum of answers:

Confidence comes from liking the way you look, that new pair of shoes or the perfect shade of lipstick. Confidence comes from the knowledge that you're good at what you're doing - whether your hobby or your job. Confidence comes from the compliment you received from that stranger. Confidence comes from feeling proud of yourself and your achievements.

Stunning digital artwork from @myfairpixel! ♥
As I began writing this, I felt confident. My confidence on that particular day came from liking the way I looked, how my hair was styled and the vibrancy of my hair. This feeling had followed a couple of days where I felt distinctly un-confident, again due to my hair. I had dyed it and the colour went wrong.

Is it wrong, is it so vain, that I felt physically depleted from how my hair looked?
My hair has always been something I can take pride in, whether it's messy, frizzy, styled to perfection. It's a vanity thing and it's an appearance thing, but when I asked people where their confidence came from several of them said they didn't care how they looked or what people thought of their appearance and that their confidence was more of a mental state (ie, knowing and being assured in their own capabilities).

This lead me on to thinking - do I rely so much on my appearance for my personal confidence because I don't have a career yet? I don't have those skills and years of experience to offer up with such self-assurance? Or is perhaps that, as an *alternative* person, I turn to my physical traits because I believe that's what defines me as me (my tattoos, my modifications)?

Or perhaps, like my Mum pointed out when I had this discussion with her - it's all just a generational thing. It's a phase. As we grow and find ourselves, we in turn find those things that give us our confidence.

Either way, I suppose it doesn't really matter. Every individual person is entitled to find their own confidence, that pure feeling of knowing and trusting themselves. If a person is made happy by their physical or mental state, so be it. Everyone deserves happiness, everyone deserves to feel good about themselves, their own bodies and their achievements in this life.

At this moment in my life, my colour brings my confidence and I'm not afraid to say that.

What in this world brings you confidence? How do you feel, when you feel confident?

With love,
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  1. I love this post Vee! It's incredibly well written and expresses your thought process through this topic perfectly! I think it's perfectly natural to draw your confidence from different areas, and that those areas will change as you grow - for instance, when I was younger, all of my confidence stemmed from academic achievement, and I was completely demoralised when I didn't get the grade I wanted! Nowadays, I draw my confidence from a wider range of things - sure, academics still feature, but no way as much as they used to! I hadn't really thought about this before but this post really made me consider it more deeply! Thanks so much for sharing, no wonder you were excited to post this - you've knocked it out of the park!

    Abbey 💓

  2. Loved this post and I can totally relate! When I've got red lippy on I feel like I can conquer the world but when I have zero lippy on or a natural shade I don't feel as confident and 'out there'... colour can TOTALLY enhance your confidence! Whether that be a lip colour, hair colour, outfit colour and so on and so forth! This was a pleasure to read, darling :)

    Keep slaying!

    Charlene McElhinney 🔥

  3. I couldn't agree more about feeling confident from your hair...I've recently gone back to pastel purple after literally a whole year of leaving my hair to go natural and I missed it SO much and feel so much more like my old self. Amazing how something like your hair can make you feel brilliant about yourself :) x x
    Ellis //