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S P I R I T, let's hear it || Music is my drug.

Leeds Festival, 2018.
I've said before and I know I'll definitely say it again, that concerts and festivals are the #1 place to be if you want to feel unity, emotion, a pure and radiating bond with a whole group of other people. It's incredible to be in a sea of bodies, people you've never met or spoken to, but to be on the exact same wavelength, connected.

Music isn't just entertainment, it's instinct, it's empathy, it's realisation, it's compassion.


The year of the music concert.

Early last year, I decided to make 2018 my "concert" year. It was completely subconscious at first, I didn't even realise I was doing it until I was half way through summer and swimming in gig tickets. 


When it comes to music - I've been going to concerts for as long as I can remember. When I was about 14/15 and queuing outside of the Cockpit in Leeds to see my favourite bands play, to be the fangirl waiting to meet them out back. (Now I just meet them inside the bar, instead of freezing my ass off, duh)

Music has been a major part in my years growing up, helping me understand not only myself but the life situations I've faced through meaningful lyrics. That sounds really corny - but it's true.

Take Paramore for example. I know, I know, people hate on Paramore for changing their sound but I personally love it. When we were 15/16, they sang about heartbreak and loss - typical, teen first love that you go through, right? Now that I'm older, they're singing about mental health and the struggles of finding your feet as an adult. They're growing with their audience, they're facing the same trials and tribulations as we are. It resonates.

It isn't just music, it's art.

Everyone in this world has their coping mechanisms, the things that help you switch off and take you away from what's happening. We have the muse that gets you pumped for the day ahead, or the projects in front of you. There are those habits or hobbies that help you remember times from the past. For me, some of those things come in the form of music. 

It's my crutch, my inspiration and my release. Music is my drug.

I saw a whole range of bands in 2018, from The Wonder Years and State Champs to Fall Out Boy, You Me At Six and Bring Me The Horizon. From Post Malone and Travis Scott to The Skints and Jimmy Eat World. It's been a blast to say the least, I've even seen my boys Neck Deep, again.

Not only did I have a handful of tickets bought and pre-arranged anyway, but I pulled out some spontaneous trips this year, too. Earlier in the year I took my best friend Rachael to her first punk gig when I went to Eat Defeat's punk round-up at The Key Club. I'd been listening to them for only a handful of weeks when I spotted their poster for the show in my home town and instinctively bought two tickets just incase.

Following that, one of the support acts from the Eat Defeat show (which I really enjoyed btw - if you enjoy punk and fancy listening to some grown men strum instruments and sing about mental health, give them a look) were playing a couple of weeks later. Again, a split decision had me in Liverpool seeing Luke Rainsford, along with WSTR who another of my friends wanted to see.

From these, I've decided that I want to start taking more chances with music. I've always been a bit stuck in my roots, listening to similar kinds of bands and genres. But this made me want to try and attend more smaller gigs, see local shows and support the bands I may not have otherwise found.

The Wonder Years - Leeds Stylus 15.04.18

A couple of other highlights from this year include: going to Leeds Fest for the day. (Aside from Slam Dunk Festival, I had never before been to a music festival. Crazy, right?) Not only was the day incredible but BMTH, a firm long-time favourite of mine, played a surprise set on the day. 

A week prior to Halloween, I had seen a post on Instagram - a throwback to Neck Deeps fancy dress of Slipknot from a few years ago - indicating an intimate surprise gig from ND in Manchester. So of course, tickets were purchased as soon as they were on sale and the drive to Manchester was made - on Halloween night, in full costume.

One thing that often puts me off from buying concert tickets these days is the price, when you have a choice over buying concert tickets or saving money for future important things, like a "real adult", it can be difficult. But then I remember that, I'm young and these are moments I'm going to remember for a long time (or pictures I can look back at in years to come). 

When you set your mind to following something that makes you happy, it's kind of crazy just how far it can take you. 

And by that I mean not only distance wise, but personally too. It's allowed me to just let go and do the things I want to do, spur of the moment. To see other cities for day trips while visiting for a concert, or to meet new people from standing waiting for bands.

For 2019, I have a couple of concerts already lined up including Enter Shikari, Don Broco and a handful I'm still yet to buy tickets for. I also jumped on the early release of 2000 Trees Festival tickets for the summer, meaning I get to go to my first full camping festival (I'm going alone, but I'm ridiculously excited).

I may not be as intense with the gigs this year, as I have other focuses and goals to give myself amazing experiences to remember - but I'll still be going to some and pushing myself to experience music in other ways, too.

I don't know entirely what I've been trying to say here, I suppose I just wanted a place to express how I feel and show off some of these snaps. It's been one hell of a year, the tunes have had me dancing, crying, grinning and of course singing my heart out. 

Everyone has their vices for getting through, music is one of mine and you should chase yours. 

With love + stay Wilde,
Keep up with me on Bloglovin' / Twitter / Instagram.

Knuckle Puck - Leeds Met University 07.10.18

Slipneck - Manchester 31.10.18
You Me At Six - Leeds O2 Academy 23.11.18

Going Hormone Free || One Year On The IUD

TW: Mentions of blood, sex and mental health. 
I'd recommend not to read ahead if you are sensitive to these topics.

The pill. Condoms. The implant. Dental dams. IUD. Injection.

Contraception is something we are all brought up conscious of and is important to understand, not only to prevent surprise pregnancy, but for your own health and wellbeing too. 

There are currently more than 10 different types of contraception available to women, which you can read more about here, or alternatively find services near you here. In the UK, there are clinics where you can drop in and speak to someone about the different ones available and which ones are suitable to your body and health.

Having tested various methods of contraception through my teen years, in 2017, I decided that I wanted to take my body back to basics and go as natural as possible to allow [both my body and mind] time to recuperate.

Thrifty DIY || Culottes: Cropped to Shorts.

I think we've all been in that position where you've envisioned an outfit in your mind, gone to try said clothes on and ended up entirely baffled over why it doesn't look half as appealing as your brain had originally made it seem. I did that today.

An emo's natural habitat: Slam Dunk Festival '18

This is going to be my eighth year at Slam Dunk Festival, it's basically a tradition now.

And yet, until this week (Slam Dunk is now 2 days away), I've barely even given it a proper thought. I've not yet decided on what outfit to wear, I have no idea which stages I'm going to be visiting or who I'm actually going to be watching.

So I thought I'd write up a little blog post to do just this - with you!

Some days, my brain doesn't like me but I still love it anyway

It sounds really strange, doesn't it? Describing my brain as a separate person, but sometimes it really does feel like it is.

Some days, my brain and my body don't get a long at all - to the point where my body wants to get up and be productive and get things done, but my brain just wants to switch off for a while and monotonously count the lights that flicker through my blinds and onto my ceiling.

Some days, I'll give in to this desire.

Some days, I'll start feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions and my brain will work overtime trying to process them. This turns into an afternoon of over thinking, worrying and anxiety.

Some days, I won't feel anything at all. Some days, I'm almost numb.

But, without getting too down - this is only a percentage of my life. This is only some days. 

There are days when all of the sadness in the world can't keep me down - where my head is racing with ideas and my body actually commits to helping me make them a reality.
There are days where I'll roll out of bed, feeling as fresh as a daisy and I can't keep myself from smiling.

There are days I feel the confidence radiating from my every being and I feel like I can conquer the world.

There are days in which my inspiration is wholly empowering, it reminds me so much of the reasons I love my quirky little brain.